I have never been very comfortable in moments of transition, when one thing ends, and another has not yet begun. For instance, every year a suspended moment happens between mid-December and early January 5. Work slows down, people’s attention moves to the holidays and we inhabit a space between “no longer” and “not yet”. It can happen when transitioning from one job to another, one relationship to another and it happens when we move from one home to another.
I don’t think I am alone in wanting to move quickly to the next thing, because it is far easier to hasten forward than to be still. It is a gift to have space to receive what is coming our way. Life can move at a dizzying pace, especially in America, and culturally we are not encouraged to allow life to unfold, but rather to strive more, work more and want more. The ambitious part of myself responds quite well to this American pace, and yet…I think there is something I have yet to learn here at home.
Being so far away from my western existence, especially while so much is happening in the US right now feels a bit dis-jointed. My family has returned to our lives in the US and here I still sit, slowly dipping my toe back into work while at the same time, feeling teary to be leaving Sri Lanka again. One the one hand, I have had a bucket-filling time at home and am ready to return to Denver, to my work, my friends and my husband and daughters. On the other hand, a deeper part of myself who comes alive in my country is urging me to find a way to stay, to linger longer and allow something new to be born in this next phase of life.
As hard as it is, and trust me IT IS HARD, I am resisting the temptation to create goals, next steps, or meetings for 2025 which feels like it is off and running! I am choosing to release visioning, manifesting, and striving to create the life I desire. Instead, I am choosing to embrace the space itself that this letting go creates. I am trusting that while having a loose plan for the year is good, I don’t need to cling desperately to actions that I have convinced myself will get me closer to my goals. I am focusing on accepting and allowing, instead of striving to manifest.
Being home in Sri Lanka makes it much easier to step into this place of allowing. I cherish my visit home and I am so grateful for a life that allows me to take this trip each year. While the lessons are still unfolding, this visit home has taught me to deepen my focus on protecting my peace, to resist swimming against the current of life, and to relax into the waves especially in turbulent the waters.
I hope the beginning of this new year has been gentle, but if it hasn’t (and I know for many, especially in LA it started devastatingly) that you are able to still find your breath, to settle your soul and open your heart to whatever it is that is coming.
